no longer in the rainy city

CHICAGO

an amazing city. Fully of wonder and bright lights. This is my third week in the Windy City, and I have to say..I am pretty damn lonely. I started school, but its law school, a place where no one wants to make any more friends...except for me, of course. So far, this weekend has consisted of me, sitting in my apartment for long periods of time, staring out the window, building my dresser, calling my boyfriend in DC, and studying at Starbucks. Maybe I will lose weight from less drinking.
No friends, no going out = no drinking
I actually began feeling anxiety and depression this evening. I know the symptoms of those all too well. I reeeallly hope I don't have an issue with that here. I know I have a grip on my life, I just feel a little floundering right now. I am so used to being somewhere where I have constant support nearby. For example, last year, Kyle and I basically lived together. When Kyle and I weren't together, my parents were VERY close. close enough to jump on a plane and be in Portland in 45 minutes.
I suppose this is the ultimate test as to whether I can survive on my own. I hope I pass.

At present:
drinking a glass of cheap red wine after smoking a cigarette (no I don't smoke, just tonight)

Wish me well, my absent reader.

Mean Old Lady Part II

Letty is at it again. Prior to our journey to our respective law schools, Kyle and I chose to stay at a month "lounging" at my parent's lake cabin (at their urging). Besides being worried about money and staying in close quarters with family for an entire month, we were stoked. Yet, the idea of a month vacation was not ok on all fronts. Letty, Kyle's grandmother "Pseudo-mom," expressed early on her distaste for such a worthless vacation from reality. In the beginning, we thought her attitude could not get any worse. Never underestimate Letty.

Today, Letty called Kyle and yelped for about an hour about how irresponsible we were.

Hmmm. responsible....Loyola law school and Georgetown law school....responsible...hmmm

She continued to tell Kyle that he was selfish and lazy. Next she started to target my family. Here is a list of the insults:

Emily: bad mother to be (wha???!)

Emily: pulls kyle around by the nose

Emily: doesn't care about my health

Emily: won't buy plane tickets for you (Kyle) to see her

Emily's family: trying to trick Kyle into marrying their daughter

there was more but Kyle stopped telling me....I was getting upset...

What am I supposed to do? Do I just ignore her attitude and try to get along happily with her? Is that even possible? I am suppose to go visit her in a month for a week. I am thinking I might ask about her health on the hour every hour. Additionally, I will attempt to carry a watermelon around with me at all times cooing and refraining from shaking the poor thing.

Emily

I will miss you Portland

June 1st is when I drive away from the town that has been my home for almost 6 years. While I await my law school experience, I will be eating and sleeping for free at my parents lake house with Kyle. Come fall, Kyle will be leaving the West Coast for Washington, DC, where he will turn into a snob at Georgetown Law School. Unlike Kyle, my voyage is not as drastic. I am moving 45 minutes from Portland: to Salem, Oregon, where I will attend Willamette Law School. So, Kyle and I are going to be apart for three years. As hard as I know it is going to be, I believe we have what it takes to stay together through even the toughest of times. Besides, it might be better for us to be apart for our first year of law school (as it's suppose to be hell). Seperating was a hard but smart decision. There was no way either of us was going to follow the other... we are too stubborn for that. I will miss him though.

Starbucks and the One Hundred Dollar Bill

Today, at Starbucks.

I was in behind a lady in line who had a small child attached to her hand. The little girl had already picked out a blueberry coffee cake and a chocolate milk, which she opened as soon as it was handed to her. Inside, I was salivating at the thought of a crumbly coffee cake in my belly.
When the cash register was done gobbeling the prices off of the products it spat out a total of around $15.00 (The mom bought stuff too). Instead of flashing some plastic, like most of the Starbucks clientele, the women handed the register person a one hundred dollar bill. From my perspective, the register person jumped out of her green apron as though she saw a neon pink cobra. She then proceeded to tell the women with the child that Starbucks can not take such large bills. After being asked if she could use some other form of payment, the women turned bright red with anger and agitation and yanked her daughter out of the store. All the while, the little girl had been suckling the chocolate milk with ferocious determination. Deep down the little girl knew she was not going to be bringing that milk with her, for as the mother yanked the daughter out of Starbucks, she snatched the milk (straw and all) and returned it to the register women.

This all happened during my break from work. Amazing.

I am going to Willamette Law. Probably. Unless Loyola Chicago decides I am amazing and takes me in.

angry at an old woman

I never thought I could be so angry at someone almost four times my age. Yet, she exists. And not only does she exist, she is Kyle's grandmother (or pseudo-mother). Not long ago, I held a great respect for her and her "preachings" (yes, she preaches). She sends out mass emails and mass letters to everyone and their mother describing, in detail, someone's personal situation. Last night, Kyle (in addition to the entire family) recieved an email from the Grandmother describing a family member's current issues with the law. Following that paragraph was a paragraph about Kyle and I. The paragraph started by stating how many schools Kyle has been accepted to so far. "Kyle has been accepted to many schools, while Emily has been accepted to none." nice. "Looks like Emily is going to have to make a tough choice" Aka: not go to law school/become a wife "It is no wonder Kyle has been accepted to so many schools with his high scores and writing ability, Emily's only hope is to get into Seattle U., IF they take her. Kyle is juggeling so many schools, while she has none." I don't think she was trying to be mean, but it hurt. I told Kyle to never speak to her about me EVER again. Nothing. zip. The really sad thing is, I have been accepted, by Suffolk in Boston. But that didn't seem to register with her. Plus, I still am waiting on 8 schools to respond back to me. My mother would tell me just to ignore it, to ignore her, but it's hard to ignore that kind of hurt.

Raining

My friend Kim, who lives in Spokane, made fun of me a couple days ago for using an umbrella. She said, "no one uses umbrella's Emily!" and laughed at me.... I don't understand, why would someone not want to use protective rain gear to keep from getting soaked? How is that dorky? As I traveled around Spokane, I noticed everyone using their hoods instead of the more efficient umbrella. They looked very wet and unhappy. On my return to Portland, I witnessed 3/4 of the city using umbrellas. Is portland full of nerds...or aquatic geniuses?

Work

I work at a "mid-sized" law firm (so roughly 70 people including staff). As a clerk, I do all of the jobs that lawyers, paralegals and assistants don't want to do...yay! Right now, my insides are twisted extremely tight as I wait for my acceptance or rejection letters from 10 law schools (count that...TEN). I check my status at each school about 3 times a day. It's pretty pathetic. But that is what I have to hope for....a college graduate working as a clerk (slave) at a law firm seeing nothing but staples and copy jobs all day, every day.
Kyle is my person. He is also attempting to join the lawyer race. However, unlike me, he has a much better chance at becoming an extremely important and rich attorney. He likes tests, including the LSAT. I despise them. I would like to burn all LSAT tests. How can one chances at being an attorney be so determined by a single test.